(handmade bear by my friend @ miri)

ok..can somebody explain why my dreams are all about him lately? its not helpful tht i keep bumping into him in my dreams while in real life i'm avoiding him badly. (as i'm not ready to face he's painfully yummy features)


and maybe its cause i was tired, and the sun sorta blind-sided me, i tot i was going to have a heart attack in btw the Slcenter building and the plaza where i was cornered by some dude tht looks so alike like him. but in a more close observation, this dude i almost bumped into was slimmer n had he's hair dyed..and by god..he looks like a korean popstar as this dude standing infront of me was very good lookin. (amen to tht..i'm not bluffing..he's stunning)


ah...ok..nvm..i can avoid him forever.. i will have to face him one day. someday. but not now.

ok..anyhoos...met joshua at main campus where he gv me a straight one on one about the Tttp 2012. i feel as tho pressure has been added to my shoulders..:( haiya...why is nursing so godamm hard?

back home was nice,fun,comfortable and heartwarming. but the effects i suffer was bad too..from the first day i arrived at miri, i fell sick..and is a bit better now..i suffer mainly from flu, eye infection and had rashes on my arms..not to mention the continious love bites i got from mosqi.

cause i was sick, i hardly went out..cause i sorta spread my flu virus to 4 of my relatives. so yeah..i spend time reading (got thru 6 books), knitting (taught cindy), being taught how to crochet, and being bosco's bear. dint go online much cause my internet line is v.slow.

besides,i travel to kuching and kk. it was fun but very tiring.my last few days in miri was jam packed..ppl sorta flew in to miri to see me..haha..donno why but thanks for the effort ppl.

i met up with pinky at Sg. and myint (we laughed non stop...*sigh, i miss those days where life was so enjoyable)

i cut my hair short.(just as denise and yy wanted me to).

most of all i ate yummy food :D and yes...of course i had my spring onion pancake..*tummy sang upon typing this out*

i've love those times where decisions are made last minute. like booking a flight to kuching on my last few days. and booking a flight to adelaide 5 hours b4 it departs (not for me but for dad, as i told him i hate travelling alone, so he decided to bring me to adelaide himself, so we end up spending the last 2 hours b4 going to the airport shopping for winter cloths for him..haha)

time was short, but i've enjoyed every moment of it. i'm glad to have spend most of my time with my fav aunt.

Zhen being the egomastic, cocky, macho and full of himself dude TOLD me tht i should forget about the guy who i'm currently drooling over and find someone like him. As he thinks my man is fugly and tht i should find someone sexy. errr...i asked him to define sexy. and he says sexy=him.. double ROFL. i cant stand this dude. so damm egomastic.

Zhen thinks the guy tht i like is fugly.

Zhen: Do you have a pic of him?

Me: why not i decribe to you why i like him instead of showing you he's pic.

***(after a few sentences of my beau)***

Zhen: yeah...i can tell he's ugly.

Me: wth? just by what i said about him..all the good points about him and u judge it by what i've said and could tell if he's ugly?

Zhen: of course *beams*...

Make me wanna give him one fat smack on the head.

the last 48 hours was a blur.

went to uni, pack stuffs, watched OTH, packed again, went to see vallery and janice, went to meet kath and aino, caught the bus to city for dinner (AWESOME TIME), had thai food (The meegoreng sucks, i practically played with my food, seperating it to 3 catergories, meat, veges and noodles), went to cocobean(my orea muffin was yuckkie cause it was vegan and organic), went to morning glory (one korean dude was freaking us out, so we rushed out of there), slept in the bus back(with heads bumping into each others), pack somemore, sleep.

next day, had room inspection, drove home, stressed out about unpacking and repacking again, bro helped me out, went for sushi, came bk home and glued my eyes on the computer watching OTH, watched gene simmons at 9pm, and stressed out about packing again till 12am.

today, woke up, feeling all tired, so not looking forward to a 7+ hour flight. my butt is going to hurt reeeeeeal bad.

yeah...ok...so i welcome the humid weather, slow internet speed, unwelcoming comments about my weight and acne scars, the lecture of a lifetime, and cheers to a boring life back home.

u lame.

alel was so lame tonight..i donno whats got into that boy.. i think he's a great cook from the way he describes it. but zhen say he's an awful cook and when asked, he said alel has nvr cooked anything for him...like nowonder lar..who would when zhen is a terrible food critique. say foods bad would having a taste of it. pfff..

anyhoos, i turned my attention to lamb chop (miss those babies back at miri cafe), alel says if i marry him, he would cook me lamb chop till we die young and happy. LOL...rite...i bet zhen would surely have something to say about it, as he's so against me marrying someone other than a chinese. rite. my life not he's.

the moon's red today. couldnt believe i've missed tht.i was driving to clinical at tht time...how could i have missed tht...gahhh....when told by my patient (while holding the 15g, i nearly smacked my forehead and maybe give myself a huge poke when told about the red moon and what i've missed out on)

alel says if i paint the moon blue, he would give me a kiss. yerrrrrr...right...i asked for a spaceship and truck loads of blue paints..

see what i mean by cheesie lines and flirty words? and when was zhen ever like this? see what i mean by me being so comfy when with zhen. he's like a gay friend tht i've nvr had..haha..(not to worry, he's not gay...)

alel says he can make lesbians, straight again...and again...yerrrr right.

Zhen asked me to wait for ip5 or a better phone. o..fine..for once, i go with he's idea. but heck, tht boy better get a good connection.

i heard from aziel tht zhen's coming bk to aussie to work, i tot zhen was jk when he told me tht..(o.O). cause he said he wanted to open a small business store, but i suggest he go help he's parents, and i would support him 101% by going there to buy things from him. he then say what he prefers is me working for him. sheesh..why would i wanna drive to salisbury to work for him anyways, he's dreaming,if he thinks i'll accept tht offer. but azriel asked me to help zhen out as zhen would be an awesome boss. lol.

got another result back...v.happy with my results this sem. hoped to score as many as 3 HDs this sem. hopefully i work my butt for it...getting my 3101 results tomolo, am not confident..just aiming for a pass. if not? a fail? i donno..but heck, nursing 5 is feckingly hard.

Someone's coming back soon :)

but sadly, i dont think i can meet up with him. cause i'll be heck busy with the starting of sem 2 and job applications.

of course its Ethen tht i'm talking about.

Zhen gv himself an english name, ethen. haha..at first, he asked me if it suits him..i told him i prefer Nathan.

and now, azeriel calls him ethen instead of zhen. but o heck...i now know why zhen doesnt have a gurl..cause compared to azeriel, he doesnt sweet talk at all, he's always full of himself. azeriel is so much different, he sweet talks all the time, and he knows what to say to lure a girl. but then zhen doenst use any of tht.

i guess thts why i love hanging with zhen, he doesn’t say cheesy stuffs...(although he can be full of himself) and me and zhen, we can be best buddies cause the way he acts, it’s so natural and unique, i love how bold and confident he could be in front of me) and compared to so many of guys i've talked to, zhen always understands me more.
there. a pic of zhen. he asked me to post a pic of him.

你从来没有道歉.现在，你表现得就好像什么事也没有发生. 但是，你竟然在我心中没有了. 所以，我希望你不要找我. 不要给我打电话. 不要问我，我在哪里. 然后再问我，我在做什么.

ok.. i accidentally jabbed myself with the 15G needle last friday. damm..my finger aches for days.

15G is the orange one (right side), the other one is a 26G which is the tiny one (left side). i always poke my patient with the huge needle. haha. need to, cause its for dialysis, and it hurts like hell man..when i first saw it, i was like "OMFG, what the heck, are u serious?" well cause when i was at the clinic 3 years back, drawing up ppl's blood it was only maybe a 24-23G needle...which isnt tht huge anyways...26G is for me to give insulin..and for those taking any Hep B,C and flu injections...its like a tinsie winsie prick. tht wont make ure injected part aching for days, not like what tht 15G would have done.

ACNE

Well..this year, all my workloads assignment base and have started on my 2nd week of uni. and its ending on 20th this month..while i get an early break, my friends who had their fair share of fun times during the first few weeks of uni, is having their finals starting on the 21st this month.

back to the topic, as u know, when I’m stresses, having to deal with workloads, tutorials ,work placements and volunteering work...my mind is very restless..i feel restless, tired and exhausted all the time, i at times, (especially on thursday) when i think about dealing with the last day of the week, would fall sick and threw up or lost my appetite..(but sadly, I’m still as chubby as a fat lit chick)...thts when my acne blossoms and I’ll have to deal with it with annoyance

i know a lot of my friends asked me to relax, deal with it and eat more fruits and vege...its just tht with all the workloads, i aint got time to take care of acne. My bro said, tht if it wasn’t for my acne, there might be so plenty of opportunities for me. (o..great..how i hate tht faggot)

and i bet once Jessie sees me when i make my facial appointment, i am gonna get the lecture of the lifetime from her

i donno why ppl thing its easy, dealing with ure workload at the same time eating healthy, taking care of ure skin conditions and all. why not show some empathy? or just mind ure own buzz.

i don’t want unnecessary and unpromising products to be sold to me, no and i dont want u ppl buying me all those facial creams and cleansing body pills...no..its my body and life...why interfere? i know u all are concern..but i aint got no time to do any shit works tht u guys have recommended me to do.

i feel like a dying rose, with every call, my heart breaks even more. to choose btw friendship and love.

told zhen my pain again..bugger..i bet he thinks i'm so emo...but heck, he has been emo ever since i know him...and the he replied "Everybody wants happiness. No one wants pain, but how can you make a rainbow without a little rain?"~ he got tht off a friend.

chatting with zhen really brighterns up my day...such a funny man with a very thick attitude. he just got bk from SH and Hangzou. he sended me some pics and asked me pick one for he's dp.

he kept saying tht he's quite shuai, i agreed and told him my nose just grew one cm. i got him to admit tht he was gay even tho he's not and told him he could borrow my dresses and hairpins. lol...

we were so bored tht both decided to go to our old routine, he used to say "Tell me something new" or "i wanna know your secrets" over the phone..today, i told one i bet non of my friends knew. and he think its hillarious cause it doesnt suit me at all. yah. o well..it was history and out of misery. :P

he, on the other hand, doesnt have much secrets at all, he tells me what i already know. he's so predictable.

vivid memories about my dream boy. met him at the airport, and the rest is history.
a new phone? i was asked to get the new iphone 4 in white by a few friends of mine. tempted by then my fingers arent very sensitive to touch screens, even in clinical placement where those new dialysis machines are touch screens and i'm having quite a lot of touble with it..grrrr... but on the bright side, nokia touch screens nvr fails to disappoint me...i can used touch screen products from nokia.. :) so some of em suggested n8 for me. N8 ?!? Euiii...its fugly...why not Nokia c7 you say? o..well its cause both my parents are using it..one is rose gold, and another one in silver..it was suppose to be thier so call 'couple phones'...OMGosh..like no way am i to butt in...but tempting too..cause i love the games in Nokia c7..lol.

maybe i'm just too stressed out, i dreamt tht me and guy A (i dare not say the name) were a thing, he came bk to miri from work, and went to aunt Julie's for dinner with me and my family. had tons of happy moments and he stayed over at my home with my parents at home. err...whatthe heck? the thing is he was so different in my dream, not the skinny twig tht he is, he's a bit better looking with meat, and he cut off the fumachoo look :D for me. haha..(i donno, but in real life, he says he has already done tht for me)

and then yesterday, i dreamt of another dude, guy B (again, i prefer to keep my boy a secret), this time, we went back to the scene where we had the candle light dinner. but then i was sitted next to him, and my evening was spoiled cause he's dovey couple friends decided to join us, and u know what a mood spoiler it is when all u wanted to do is say cheesie lines to your beau but he's friend's just right infront of you with all ears on you and your beau's conversation..how annoying. (but i assure you, in real life, we did end up bumping into he's friends, he's friends wanted to take a pic of us while i kept saying NO, cause i felt very bloated after having the lobster thermidor)

so...lets see whose the 3rd dude in my dreams tonight.

Update~ i really love jason now..even tho he calls me poochop, he's freakingly awesome...CINDY!!, my friend found me this nice shop tht sells macarons.
( http://www.pastille.com.au/ ) go check it out, and tell me what u like :D

when i tell him he's awesome.

he replied: 'I'm just trying to be caring to make sure poo tang does her essay as i dont want her to fail.'

ouch! had a bubu while at placement, my nails was torned in half. yeah, i should have clipped off my long nails instead of waiting for accidents like this to happen. i was having a hard time trying to get things done without wincing in pain.

anyhoos..i get to cannulate someone this week with a 16' g needle size.

all three of these cannot be compare to a 16 g needle..they are all too small as a 16'g needle is 10-12 times bigger in size then these..i'll try to take a pic of a 16' g needle if i can.

SLACKING! assignments due tomorrow, and i'm youtubing, blogging and chating, jason says if i dont get my butt on doing my assignment, he's gonna take the bus, knock on unit 68, and either tickle me crazy, slap my ass or take away all my oreo supplies.

i'm going blind by looking at guy's jewel bags for 6 hours now. stupid assignment needs me to find references to my statement of why i think the given info was wrong, i've been watching videos, looking at pictures, reading on guy's coin purse.

i think its cause i've been staring at the computer screen for so long, i mistaken a horse's penis thinking it was a male's, u cannot imagine my disbelieve, i kept looking at it thinking, DUDE! this guy is so hairy (cause the picture was not clear and in black and white)...LOL.

4 assignments due next week. :/ i cant even sleep soundly, too stressed, eyes twitch, lost my appetite and have been nauseous, got bitten by a bug, and now, a small part of my left leg is swollen ,inflammed, warm and very goddam itchy...i tot it was a mosquito, but bites from a mosqi would not left me with very red and inflammed patch which lasted 5 days. o well, life goes on..

going out with janice in an hour..haha..destress! i'm thinking of going to the crystal,candles and scent shop to get stress releasing junks. i donno if they work, but then i'll just give them a try.

I’m on a consistent down fall. I donno how much more i could take of this. i just wish i was dead. as i don’t think my mind, body and soul could take it if this happens again. How did i my life end up like this? i'm mentally exhausted.