self machine. i was given a jade necklace this afternoon, was asked to wear it. so not to insult the giver, i wore it. but deep down i nvr like jade stones.

clinical went well.i'm just exhausted. was invited to carol's house for tea after clinical.

the Story of Red.

RED which i've been talking about for the past week has been sitting at the garage for almost a week now. and yes, Red, is my very own car.

it all started 3 weeks ago, when dad went and pick me up from the workplacement, and he thinks the alley is dark and dangerous and insist getting me a car.

went to ordered one, got insurance done, everything under my name. At last, last wednesday, my car arrived. Upon getting it, i was told, its my own car now, i have control of who should be behind the wheels.

i've regreted getting the car as mum kept using it against me, dad intent to make me happy over what happened last dec, in the end, i end up unhappy cause i feel like i'm being push ard to do things because dad got me this car.

lanny said i emo, i get a car, he emo..he got nth..so i should be thankful.. but if i have known tht this car is gonna get me into so much arguements, i would have said NO.

he asked: What do you think of me in person? Would you be interested in me?

after careful consideration on planning a very simple and yet, non insulting answer, with tons of smileys, and lols.

he concluded that i Am indeed interested in him.

/what the phook. i should have just answered NO instead of 3 lines of explanantion. and that might have just get the message across right.

(easter egg from ursula, its red again to help me with the red theme thats been going on for 2 weeks now...i'll keep u update on Red. cause johnny needs to fix something on it)

wow. hardly knew she was there all along.

u know me, i am those tht only check the latest updates on fb upon waking up. i load only the first page and thats it..the trouble of going thru to view everyone's updates. so in the end, i always get the last of the gossip juice. for example, a friend of mine was engaged since monkey ages, everyone has congratulated her, and after what? 6-7 months, i then found out about it? *sad and yet true.

another example, a very good old mate of mine added me (as he quote like 4-5 years ago on msn) and last night, out of the blues, he nudge me and all i can think of is when have i added him. i dont view the list but just type out their name in the search box to chat with em. the only ones i know online are the ones that sign in after me, as the annoying "ding" sound would ring thru my speakers while i'm either writing essays or watching a movie.

i hate it when i conversate with a guy friend, and the topic change to me talking about a dude, and he wont stop questioning

1. who is he?



2. is he your ex?



3. a future bf?



4. someone from uni?



5. where did u met him?



6. where is he from?



7. do u fancy him?

and when tht 'dude' did something tht he knows that i dont like,

1. i tot u hated that?



2. why did he do that?



3. so, he gets to do that?



4. is he the only one with an exception?

in the end,

1. so, are u gonna meet this dude?



2. what about the other one? tht u says creeps you out.damm...nosy friends are annoying. And this aint the first time.

went out with yy and ara today. i went to a book expo event and got 4 books just for $16. Am so DARN happy.

okay..if everything goes well, its would be arriving this wed, and to continue the arrival of my 'stuff', i started buying things in red.

red book to go with it this has got red in it, a red summer beachbagcause winter is just 2 months away, mum got me a red thermo flask, and i got myself a red pen...everything tht goes well with my red 'stuff' :)

Parents invest their money on us.

Spoil us rotten, feed us plenty, buy our happiness.

Off we go, study our ass off to get as many HD or D just to account for our yearly achievements.

Parents stress=Children stress.

I guess, i cannot be invested this year, i cannot concentrate in any of my work. i feel like such a failure. :'( i dont think i can get a single D or HD this year.

since when have i become the mum instead?

8:00am, woke up, found mum texting dad at the tv room.

9:00am, asked mum to get ready, as i need to go make an appointment for car servicing. (and she took sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long just to get herself all ready) its something tht i used to do, i dressed and doll for a very long time while mum have to wait downstairs with the car keys.

10.00am, drove the car, while mum sat at the back texting dad. its something tht i used to do when i was texting nick.

11.00am, drove to subways, parked the car, turned ard, asking mum if she wants anything from subways, she said no, i just left her in the car while i get lunch. its what mum used to do when i'm not hungry on a sat, she would get some bread from Hot cross bun and i'll always wait in the car, texting.

12.00pm, mum said she cant finished her sausage roll and wanted to chuck it into the bin, while i'm still having my lunch. i have always chucked the tapao noodles on a non schooling day bk in miri.

2.00pm, mum asked if we could go shopping, and i declined saying i've got tons of workloads to do, plus i'm lazy to drive. this is the exact same words tht i used to say to mum and mum would reply tht shes lazy to drive me out.

3.00pm, mum's bored, so she took a nap. i used to do this on a sat afternoon.

5.00pm, mum rang her friends and just chat mindlessly. which is what i used to do, i used to ring bu, or myint and talk like crazy.

8.00pm, while praying, dad texted mum, she got distracted and instead of praying, she texted the whole way thru praying time. which was what i was quite famous for bk in those days.

9.00pm, mum told me shes gonna try and read/study some christian thing. and then the next thing i know is tht she wasnt studying, she was texting. i used to sneak a couple of text to this guy while mum was infront of me studying and all i cant concentrate on what i'm suppose to study for tht night.

12.ooam, while going off to bed, i caught mum texting dad instead of sleeping. and i was trying to go to bed with her, texting dad till 1am. which was what i used to do, i always sneak in some text to someone b4 i sleep.

i conclude, my day has been turned upside down..since when have i become the mature old woman while mum acts like a sneaky teenager..the different is tht i dont share out what i say to my guy whereas mum just tell me what dad says and giggle.

In preparation for next week, everything's gotta be red. red nails, red lip gloss,red bag, red lipstick case.

Sociology's topic was on obesity. M.hall was asking us whats the difference btw food taken culturally. I've learned that in india, some certain rice could lead to type 1 diabetes. and as for caucasians here, there state tht they limit the portion of the food taken by their kids. or was asked to finish their food when young.

upon asking me, the only Malaysian, i told them i hated food when i was young. (shock No.1). and in order to get food into me, mum had to force feed me till i was quite old (like maybe 9yold; i think) (shock No. 2). up until 10 years old and to my teenage age, when i dont feel like eating, i would have a small portion of rice and a glass of water for dinner (shock No.3). i would throw up when i eat upon waking up (shock No. 4). haha...yeah..they conclude tht i was very different.

plus...while at aussie, i was taught to throw food away when i cannot finish my food and i would play with my food then up until last year, i started cooking. Of course, Aussie food, was too yummy and tht i gained 3-4 kilos since 2009. my face's meaty and chubby now..BUT to compare with first year, i could lift up my patients easily out of the chair without huffing and puffing.

so stressed out. i donno what i'm suppose to write for the upcoming assignment. i'm stuck. how? in the end, i started painting my nails (O.O) i dont mind wasting time in that, as u see, even my tutors have got beautiful pedicured nails. mine's an embarrassement. painted blood red.

waiting for it to dry out..i was flipping my feet like crazy..cause 3 coats could have easily been scraped away.

next's week the mid term break...even in mid term break, i still need to go to the uni to attend 3101. Fking hell. waste my time nia. watched this video on obesity during 3013..endless foul words and unsessored female body parts..and it was shown while i was sitting to this dude. how embarrassing.

Honey, he is a guy, he aint suppose to be yummy!

Whoopsie daisy...when talking to shaunne, i accidentally, typed, 'O, he's name's Ian yum'

Shaunne tot tht i think Ian's yummy..lol...what the heck...i donno how did my whats app change tht into yum. its Ian yun.

well actually, i donno whats my 3101 groupmate's name is..i'll just call her shaunne..cause she looks like a shaunne. :p

anyhoos..workshop was fun..we kept saying things like wanting to steal the dummie's hand and bring it to pubcrawl..and i teased shaunne till bits and pieces...cause she's gonna drown herself with booze and i kept pointing out what booze could do to her liver. Kwa was just enjoying the show of two 20 yolds going crazy with AnP. we kept poking, probing, dislocating the dummies, arms, body parts and so,we sat on the bed (like best buddies on sleepovers) and talked for ages till the tutor came. Shared tons of inside jokes and Kwa had to watch in dismay as we both act like her daughter. Did acid/alkali resp/metabolic excercise, me and shaunne was just shooting answers and kwa (onced again, have to ask us to SLOW down)..in the end, shaunna jokes tht we should just be docs instead..and when asked about abdo distension, i had a silly idea of poking the pt's flesh with a needle. (O.O)

oo...ooo..ooo...among all i got a GOLDEN STAR from my tutor...cause our tutor was asking everyone on antibiotic IV infusion, and among all, i got the right answer..which to me was odd, considering everyone has done clinical, they ought to know how to infuse antibiotics. As i explained it over and over again, clamping wasnt nessesary..but my opinion falls into death ears as everyone tot they we right to clamp the linings.

Sociology, can i be reminded of why i'm taking this shit again? i had this in first year..and now, i'm taking a 3rd year in sociology? eish! whats the difference? i got a HD in that topic, *wipes hands. and thats it, its history. argggg....goddamm..i hate sociology. and now, i've gotta write a 1500 word essay about feminism and woman's health policy.

again, for the 3rd day in a row, i concur and succeed in doing nth but watch tellie and play Diablo. wooo!!! I rock. I’ve nvr felt so free.

shopping for easter bunnies anyone? i'm going egg shopping later on. o smack! i need to find something for gary for he's birthday. Jason is still trying to use the force on me to go to gary's bd...havent seen tht dude tht likes to tickle me since last sep? (well he saw me with zhen, i saw he's side when he turned into MCD).

cupcakes! aino wrapped it up for me. how lovely.

ate two cupcakes for dinner. :P i'm like getting fatter and fatter by the day. while xiao shuai is getting thinner as he claims to be swimming, now tht he's at KL.

watched 'how to deal' last night. up until the last minute of the movie, i realise i've watched it b4 ages ago. Xs says he's gonna motivate me to study harder and look out for me from far. wow, what devotion. haha.

going to c.p today. once again, looking at blood,machine,wires,tubes and needles. how depressing. damm nursing's so depressing. i cant stand watching ppl at the end stage of their lifes, in pain, and taking up like 14 meds a day. well at least one day i could help someone out, as i'm gonna donate my organs when i die.

just a bit tired, cause i spend 2 hrs playing diablo with lanny last night, got distracted and died like 3 times. arg!.

I made chicken and mushroom pot pie. it was so good tht i had two for lunch...baking it for the girls during out pot luck session. i'm planning for another outing with the girls this weekend (if they are free of course). i became the last min kinda girl when dealing with assignments. i cant believe from being all prepared and nearly finished a month ahead in first year, to doing double check two weeks b4 due on 2nd year to the day b4 its due in 3rd year. What the heck happened??? i used to be the girl tht goes to the library every night with zhen in first year, with me reading up on AnP and him watching some dramas on youtube. To going to the library once or twice a week or going over to janice's unit to finish up on workloads on 2nd year. To this girl whose too lazy to even step out of the unit in 3rd year. Guess the lazy bug finally got me. I'm just too lazy to care in 3rd year. Too lazy to study on it. Too depressed to even concentrate on workloads. Everytime he rings asking me on why i aint studying, all i can say is i'll deal with it later, and its all bunched up at the corner. pictures got taken without my permission. but then got vain after tht. i was caught using my WTPooh phone. cause my nokia went flat after whatsapp-ing lit mickey all day. (hmmp..i should really stop calling him tht, tht nickname was given ages ago when young, i should now call him xiao shuai. cause thts he's nickname by friends. and i cant call him just mickey as there another guy with the nickname mickey at perth)..haha..o well..i donno why mickey. but then its cute.

Last friday was A-some. Had pizza and pasta at scoozi's. pic's with yy. went to rundle, did grocery shopping with the girls. After that, went to body shop where all of us buttered ourself with yummilicious body butter. :P ..yy took us all to order our cupcakes...and the anticipation of it arriving at my door on monday is a bit too much, so in the end, i got my own yummy violet butterfly. (i sorta accidentally scaped part of the frosting while opening the box)

and now, with green tea by my side, and a tummy full of noodles..i proceed into finishing my damm assignment. i cant believe i took 2 and a half days just to finish this stupid assignment with no questions and just statements of clinical settings. i feel like i'm dealing with Mr meyer all over again X(

i got my results from drug cal. just as i suspected, they checked workings. and i got 9/10. and i need to resit for tht agn. ARG!!! should have given my draft paper with my correct workings instead.

well i would think its caused the pressure, and with what happened last dec, and plus i was mentally exhausted cause of clinical and having to deal with 3 assignments which is due next week. i in the in burst into tears. rang yy up, she walked to FMC, i picked her up, when to her house and just talked it out. i felt so much better after tht..then end up joking, going crazy laughing and giggling again..even collin said its good to see tht i'm destressing. well to get to tht bit, i cancled out on clinical today, cause of last night, puffy eyes..and i will deal with tht later, and i'm going out with the girls for lunch today.. :D:D soooo happy..

but b4 that, i need to finished at least one question from my online quiz today :D

Communication Failure~

Girl: give me some time, i need space to breathe.

Boy: (translated) Lets just break it off. And dont think u should wait for me.

WTF. (www.gg.com)

The next thing u know is that the blame is on you, the one that needs some time to breathe.

Aino invited me for Japanese yum yums at the main campus. :P~~

Had fun with my group at workshop just now. Couldnt stop laughing at the dummie which was this week's Pt, Mr meyer. i couldnt do CPR as i keep slipping off the pt's bed cause of my shinny tights.

Arg..why placements? i am missing out on outing with the girls this friday cause of my placements.

i'm gonna doll up tomolo as i'm going out for dinner. YAY!

luke is going somewhere..i donno where it is..brahim?? i donno..i donno how its affecting me catching up with him. 7 hrs apart..its so hard to talk to him. Plus Whatapp is draining both of our phone batt. dang.

i cant rmber most of what has been going on in my sec school years..whats more Alvls..all i do rmber tht i was a happy child and i love going to sch cause i wanna see my friends again.

i'm suffering from memory lost here. i just cant rmber at all. when i think about a certain period of life in sec sch, my mind goes blank. the only thing i rmber are those tht were wrote in my diary, my kiki book, and blog. (O.O)..omgawd...what the heck happened?

Jimmy eat world is one of the best bands ever..listen to their songs when ure feeling down..it suits the mood best.

friday night did not turned out the way i planned, i wanted food, the guys wanted beer. starved, unhappy, bored while waiting for the guys to drown up the beers. Lanny was happily high. collin made me talk. he wanted to know why i've been depressed. i cant believe i welled up infront of him. of course no tears flowing out, but just tears welling up in my eyes. after tht, he brought my mood down,i lost my appetite completely. went bk to ray's apartment..i was completely lost in tots. reached home at 1.30am.