Road trip last thursday. Went down south to Cape Jervis. Beautiful place where the air is so FRESH. Non stop hanging out-supper/dessert time and wine catch ups all weekend got me bloated every night. I'm so touched by everyone's offer to have me stay at their place during the summer..i donno which house to choose from. the city? the unit with the most adorable blue eyed cat? the 1.6 mil house on the hill? or the country cottage?went to terrance's house where we played dance 2, karaoke and fruit ninja on kinect. si beh tiring and hillarious with the company of moscato. sadly, i'm booked this whole weekend, so i cant follow them to Henley to catch some crabs.

YAY! i'm almost there!!! one and half day till i finish my Clinicals.*huge grin.

the only thing is to wait for my OSCE results which is going to kill me cause i donno if i might fail or pass this goddamm topic. Fingers Crossed to the max hoping that i pass this.

yes, i was busy. handed in my last assignment last thursday. and on saturday, colin took me to (something) mountain. the air was fresh. (sorry, no pictures, as it was 9.30pm) we stole this bubble blower at some couple's wedding and starting blowing bubbles at 10pm by the windmill. hang at he's crib and serve me a cup of red bean dessert. talked to cyril about nursing. (ahh finally someone that understands medical terms).haha. went for supper at 2am. i was so blur that when collin asked me something all i can say is 'what? where? i donno.. and wanders off the street'. haha

lunch and money spending with kath on sat. crepe was nice and got myself a LUSH facemask which kinda sucks. pimple popped up the next day after using the crap i got. well at least i smell like nutella the whole night. which got me soooo hungry.

clinical was same old same old. got home early. some upsetting news got my tearing up. then i dyed my hair (was a very sudden move). had dinner with bro's friend. then desserts at cocobean. end up at he's place where i tried hard learning how to play he's guitar. yes, i suck. he taught me. but then i end up yawning. tired and head bk home.

i realise after next friday. i have absolutely nothing to look forward to. yes. sure. i still have 8 days placements and thats it.

i hv no motivation to do my assignments at all as i think to myself, whats the point? i've been told to trive for something, knowing that when i work hard, i know i can get it. but i ask myself the questions of what am i looking forward to? going bk home? i cant, i'm not even going bk home. going to gold coast with my friends, i'm not very hyped about it even tho, i love my friends, but i just dont feel like travelling ard aussie (as i can do that anytime in the next, well i donno.. 10 years perhaps) aussie can wait. but what annoys me is that i cant go bk home. how many given opportunities am i allow to spend my days at miri for months like i could have.

no i dont count going bk for 1-2 weeks as a holiday.

the thing is my parents dont get it. how are they to know how i felt? u have to be me to ever feel what i felt when i'm here. yes, right now, i've got my girls here. but what about next year and so on? i would have to make new friends again as non of them are staying bk. yes, i make friends easily over the past few years. but its not the same without the girls.

thats when the depression kicks in once again. i became someone whose tired of living, i wake up at 1pm and have lost my appetite(which was a bonus, as i needed to lose weight, and i know i know..its not healthy, but hey, when ure depressed, do u think healthy?) actually i did cook, but when i finished cooking, i couldnt eat, so in the end, after 3 spoonfulls of food, i chuck everything into the bin (knowing i would nvr have them anyways, cause i seldom have leftovers, not that i dont like them, but then like i said, i lose interest in eating)

last dec-feb, was the most crucial period of my life, u asked why dint i get a job? well i cant, i had to travel btw ade-perth for christmas and new year. where at perth, i felt worse. it was the worse days i had to live with. i became so depressed that i took only one palm size of meal each day (which of course, like i mentioned before, was a bonus point, but sadly, i couldnt lose that much) i find going on trips troublesome as well, i mob ard the heated house of 30 degrees. well summer at perth was predictable (cause, rmber i spend one month at perth when i was in form 3? from 4?, yeah, i wrote that in this blog as well)

i was so bored that i find flies on the wall, i find vacuming dead flies on carpets, i find filling up brita bottles, arranging my stack of cookies amusing.

yeap. just as i expected. windy did not finished her assignment on time. and yes. i was so pissed off i started raising my voice on her. yes. i wanna break that women in half and throw her into the bin like a unless crap. at last after my very angry moment with her, she finally decided to start the assignment *sighs and at the same time am relief i talked some sense into that thick brain of hers* i even got her writing the introduction without having maggie to do it. yes. we did so much for this bytch. like me changing my shift to morning today. i could have been with Mr. Kim (a korean nurse who i find amusing)

anyhoos..my shift was A-some today. met a grannie who was so nice to me. well she say i'm the best as i got her toast and made her one of the best coffees ever. she then kissed my cheeks and hugged me, and introduced her si beh hot grandson to me. damm he was a skaterboy. but when she asked me to stand next to her grandson, he was so tall. (><)

o well. back to Mr Kim. he's like maybe 25yo. male korean nurse. who wouldnt stop laughing when he sees me (which everytime he laughs, i find it amusing..a very nice rich laugh).and the way he says my name its very unique in a nice way. and yeah like i said, every single time he see me he would first smile and then laugh. i donno why. but i'll have to ask him why he does that.

found this amusing.

yes. the bytch word is so gonna be on me tomorrow. that why i hate group work. i rush my team mates into completing their work in time, and yet, windy is still on the evidence assignment, and maggie, i practically deleted most of her work as it was a bit over the edge. and have to do double work of writing maggie's part of the assignment as well. ARG!!!!! and yet, windy who was SUPPOSE to write up the introduction did not even do it before the break. shes such a screw up. now she pushed she task to maggie. and knowing maggie, i'll have to write up her part as well...what a complete nonsence i have here.

damm angry.

he's sweet as sugar coated candy.

little mickey (rmber him)..yeah. he really does make my day with he's sweet words. makes me miss him more.

been down since yesterday. caring for dying patients really am gonna dry me out. i couldnt stop crying last night. cause my patient was miserable on my last shift..she doesnt talk much and would just space out. she looks so lifeless. in the end, i felt miserable as well as i donno what to say to cheer her up.

anyhoos..debbie, the nurse, ask me to suck it up and deal with it. cause i'm gonna face more of it as i get thru this nursing course.

i got bk home, pick it on my bro who was smoking at tht time. asking why he smokes he's life away, while someone dying on the hospital bed is trying hard to fight for their dear life is dying no matter what treatment we gave them. like was marine say 'everyday should be a celebration as you realise u get to see your love ones for another day'.

she says most ppl would only say words like that once they have faced a near death experience. very strong woman she is. i do look up to maine.

anyhoos...had dinner at eastern again. with reuben and then we had drinks at bracegirdles. fatterning.

"So many fakers wanna be like me" lines by Zhen.

er right. sure, why not say u are trying to be like them instead?

cause this morning, i saw this guy bk facing me, with the exact same hair style (dyed, with those i just woke up tousled hairstyle), same time of posture (slough), with the muscles and all (cause he was wearing lose fitting, i couldn’t see if theres any abs, but the muscles on he's arms was lean), same way as how zhen walks (like those, theres so much time, lets walk slower) and those bag (slings with very Burberry/Polo style).

i just couldnt stop staring, almost wanted to walk the other way, cause at 10am in the morning, i look like shit. thank god, when he turned ard (prob sensing that someone is trying to burn a hole on he's shirt with her stare), well i can say he aint pretty boy looking compare to zhen, but maybe he's sense of humour and love for himself aint as thick as zhen.

o well..moving on. been feeling exhausted lately, mentally and emotional.

lets talk about mentally, had Clinical case conference on wed, 3 days of sleepless nights and waking up at 5am for 7am's work placement got me looking like death.

well at least one of my patients dint think so, he tot i look pretty when i told him i look like a zombie. well he must really like asian who looks lifeless. he tot i was Korean.

emotionally drained is that SOMEONE. lets just call him noname (Nn). this dude, he's been spreading he's so call love all ard on texts. and yet, he is trying to push me away to some other dude. He’s jealousy is sidetracked. how u say u like someone, and when that someone, aka me, hangs with a friend (like seriously lar, how many times should i say the sentence "HE IS JUST A FRIEND!!!!!" would the message get thru) and he got kinda annoying with the questions at first, and ask me if i enjoy my hang out session. and got a lit pissy when i said, yes (why wont i, so should all my outings with my guy friends turns sour and meaningless, like us being mutual friend with no jokes ard, of course i would laugh and have fun right?) and what annoys me is that he compares himself with my guy friends. if he's like right next to me, i would wrung he's neck out. damm mad u know. he knows he's the first person on my mind. and yet, he makes things so awkward.

fine dinning at 7pm and desserts a 9pm. last night was superb.

the guys and girls was trying hard to guess who my momo ren is. not really my momo ren lar..but then they say they saw twinkles in my eyes when i saw he's message.

it was funny, cause they tried to trick me endlessly to spill the beans. i did give clues. which i think the last one gave way. cause when i went to collin's place after dessert, the guys and girls, went to my webpage and did a massive search and found him. =.="

it took 5 ppl and hour and half to track him down.

what i'm afriad is that they would do smthng silly as i donno why Mr john doe message me this morning seeking for an explanation of our so call 'friendship'. i aint going to put ideas in he's head and make him think further, but what has changed is that he started calling me dearest. and yes a bold APUUUUUU for tht.

Si beh Pek CHEK ah.

Faulty problems on the stupid assignment webside which i've tried countless time to save my assignment wont even do, and therefore, the status was tht I failed to summit my assignment and email attachment is not accepted. Genieve (THE VERY LA SAP POH) decides to not grade my paper.

Meaning, i might fail this whole Subject. Not only my paper but ard 20 student's paper. it wasnt our fault.the stupid connection was like sai. the assignment webside was kns as well.

Now knowing tht i might not graduate this year, i si beh pek chek. till like when the girls ask me what i wanna do for my birthday i say i reply, stay at home and pig on ice cream to cure this very pek chek mood of mine.

Plus, my sickness which i got from gary ( i donno how i got it off him, i dint even kiss tht frog ) is getting worse, like i might cough out a lung anytime now.

Plus hor, without PR, i cant even get a GNP for next year..GNP eh. what am i suppose to do next year? lay eggs? Futher my studies you say? mai dream lar. ard 1500 nurses with double degree cant even get a job here. whats more to say?

yy's birthday at the units :) it was fun, but we hardly talked to yy. cause she had her coursemates and hallies as well..so in the end, there were 2 groups. i made kimchee pancake for the potluck dinner. :D

denise say if i cut my hair shorter, she will kick me silly. damm even cutting my hair has a limit restriction. apuuuuhad dinner with ara,yy,aino,gary, lanny and denise. went to ngong nguan yen, vietnames rest. food sucks but company was awesome. went back to my place and placed blackjack, texas poker, bullshit and lastly ACE to KING! aino got the last king but then she couldnt drink alcohol..lanny had to drink the whole thing. had cupcakes and doritos for snacks..everyone made me drink so much..><..walao eh...i think i always kena sabo chin chin.

went to jin's patisserie yesterday with the gang minus denise.

my watermelon juice and chocolate crepes. it was yummilicious and costly too...

in the end, we spend more than 2 hours chit chatting. they wanted to go sing sing AGAIN for my birthday. NO way man. i dont wanna have my dinner at sing sing AGAIN. in the end, they .wanted another potluck -.-" and it would be at my house to celebrate my birthday. i donno if i should call my coursemates as well.. :/ cause for both denise, alex and yy's birthday everyone seems to group up and then the birthday boy and girls end up catching up btw two groups. o well i still have time to decide.

My funny friend, yan yin.

funny fact 101, is that yy nvr picks up my call or any of our friends. she has maybe pick up my call twice in this year. why? well cause her phone is always on silent mode. why? well cause she says the ring tone on her phone is too loud and it scares her. so how do i contact her u asked? well non other than thru her bf, aravin.

funny fact 102, is that when yy says i'm gonna come by at 6pm, it actually means 6.30pm. dont worry, me,aino,kath..we are very used to her being half an hour late even tho she stays like 5 mins away from the hall.

funny fact 103, is that when you go to sleep, she says good morning to the sun in your face as shes a night owl.

funny fact 104, when she says breakfast, it meant lunch.

the utter most ZA DAO thing tht happened today was that at 1pm, Ara rang saying he and yy would come over to my place (just a 30-40 min drive) from thier place at sturt. okay. i promise to get them some spring rolls. i rushed out to the store a few blocks away, got some fresh made spring rolls in a flash and drove home. by 2pm, i told myself no big deal. maybe its traffic and they are late. by 3pm, i told myself maybe they are taking the bus. by 4pm, i cracked up thinking if they decided to walk about lets say 30 km ALL THE way to my house. i rang both of them twice, whatsapp and if theres possible telepathic communication, i would have tried. GODNESS OMY WHAT THE HECK MAN! they arrived at my door at 5pm, saying they just had lunch...so a 30-40 mins drive turned to 3 hours?!?

yeah..that yy and aravin for you guys. best buddies who are always late.

*sigh...some guys are unfair at times.

they are allowed to go to a sex club but if we dreamt of kissing this other dude in our DREAMs, they get a lit pissy about it.

ie. i talked about me dreaming of kissing this friend of mine (of course i have no control of my dreams i donno why it happened but it did) and i get questions throwed at me endlessly and then accusing me of liking tht frog i kissed and then getting all pissy at the end of the day.

wow i was thrown to this weird situation just because of a dream. damm sad lar weih.

A late pic update of denise' & alex's birthday dinner.

Had fun. Gary said phillyse turns him on out loud that..it was hillarious..i shot yy a look and both us cracked up. he meant to say phillyse turns on he's lameness.

i gave all my veges to kath as usual. and as usual, the Sg group up, the caucasians group up, the hallies group up. overall tons of laugh and my cheeks was sore.

been lazy lately. skyped with the KL david the other day, funny dude..we lost touch in first year and then been catching up from where we left off.

Gr8 parents are driving me nuts. ever call ends with tears.

KIMCHEE madness. have been having kimchee for days now..me love.

went to see mairne today. did beading. well we tried.

went bk to bed till 6pm. dreamt i woke up twice and twice in a row, lanny told me that our neighbour next door was staring at him and cause he was freaked out, he ask my older bro to come bk. and i then ask him whats with all the chairs and statue figures facing the window, he says its just to trick our neightbours thinking tht we are in a staring fest. err.. right. ok. then i dreamt i had contacts on and was about to take them off. when reality crash and i woke up, walked to the bathroom and started poking my eyes (have u ever had one of those days where ure visions are 101% and thinking u've the contacts on and u go ard poking ure own flesh) *f.hell. it hurts goddamm bad okay.

as i walk down rundle at 8pm, it would always bring bk the one of the crazy things we did chasing each other on a monday night on an empty street. *sigh i wish i could just forget it.

anyhoos, had korean dinner with denise last night, korean dude at korean restaurant could not even understand simple english of "do u know where the korean groceries are?" epic fail chin.

Feeling lousy. i hate my placement venue. yesterday had been one of the worse days. Nurse was so *no word in the vocab to describe her*. all i can say is tht she was a lousy RN as well. how do you expect me to get the patient's drugs on time when u are MIA all the time. and i'm still a student how issit possible for me to access the drug cabinet to get the drugs. USE your goddamm brain lar woman. she got me doing things tht got me scolded by another RN. i wish we as students can evaluate RNs as well.

so bumped out. spend 2 hours walking under 8 degrees with no gloves and a Naruto batt lantern. it was so cold tht i couldnt even talk or message luke at all. my fingers was frozen. haha.

anyhoos. like i donno how ppl keep distance relationship on going so well. i cant even keep my distance friendship on a steady stand. luke's at USA at the mo. and i'll have to think twice b4 messaging him while he jt keep this up naturally. its morning for me, and night time for him. he text me upon waking and text me agn knowing what time i'll be waking.

o heck! i'll try my best to keep this up.

Man repellent. Somehow for this two weeks, i'm being ignored halfway thru a conversation, having unreplied messages and worse of all was my dinner date with a friend was cancelled on the last minute.

it felt so weird. like a juju vibe has fell upon me and my guy friends seems to be dropping like flies. what the heck happened? while my guy friends are disappearing one by one, all i get is weird guys who wants to take off thier shirts and webcam with me (like two and on counting). why am i always aproached by horny preverts while the decent ones are either chained or gay.

ok since parents doesnt want me to go work at where luke is at now. i aint got no plans. o well happy days, gonna rot.my.bones here.

just 2 days ago, i asked myself, where did everyone go? (Isabel, Sarah, Kathy, Sammy) and why arent we in contact anymore? beside pinky, me and myint. where are the rest?

*sigh. i miss y'all and i donno when i'll be able to meet up with all of u guys again.

(both pics without pinky @.@).when will we take pics like this again?

anyhoos..not only with the kiki girls..i've lost contact with alethea, sammy (both the Hk and korean), lee wen, jasmine and kenneth (and maybe more tht at this time, i cant think of)

overdue pic of fish kissing my legs. was with pinky and marvis :)

i feel pathetic to even check on him occasionally..but hey. i'm just turning a new leaf (trying) to be nice to guys*

ok maybe not. maybe to some guys only. it doesnt apply to Joe. cause i donno him and yes i think 35yo++ guys wanting to webcam are pervy.

wasted precious time watching oth for 5 hours straight. headache. i decided to give travelling with the girls a go this year end. (mind you, i do love the girls to bits, but when it comes to outing,especially travelling in big groups where time is wasted on food, Food and mostly FOOOD! my patience runs out v.fast)

Why whenever someone ask me where i wanna go when i grad, i tell them to where luke is right now and they just assume i'm going out with him?

Cant a girl travels to places where shes curious about? Cant i work at a place where i know tht someone i trust is there? And travels with a friend when not attached?