i feel like a dying rose, with every call, my heart breaks even more. to choose btw friendship and love.

told zhen my pain again..bugger..i bet he thinks i'm so emo...but heck, he has been emo ever since i know him...and the he replied "Everybody wants happiness. No one wants pain, but how can you make a rainbow without a little rain?"~ he got tht off a friend.

chatting with zhen really brighterns up my day...such a funny man with a very thick attitude. he just got bk from SH and Hangzou. he sended me some pics and asked me pick one for he's dp.

he kept saying tht he's quite shuai, i agreed and told him my nose just grew one cm. i got him to admit tht he was gay even tho he's not and told him he could borrow my dresses and hairpins. lol...

we were so bored tht both decided to go to our old routine, he used to say "Tell me something new" or "i wanna know your secrets" over the phone..today, i told one i bet non of my friends knew. and he think its hillarious cause it doesnt suit me at all. yah. o well..it was history and out of misery. :P

he, on the other hand, doesnt have much secrets at all, he tells me what i already know. he's so predictable.

vivid memories about my dream boy. met him at the airport, and the rest is history.
a new phone? i was asked to get the new iphone 4 in white by a few friends of mine. tempted by then my fingers arent very sensitive to touch screens, even in clinical placement where those new dialysis machines are touch screens and i'm having quite a lot of touble with it..grrrr... but on the bright side, nokia touch screens nvr fails to disappoint me...i can used touch screen products from nokia.. :) so some of em suggested n8 for me. N8 ?!? Euiii...its fugly...why not Nokia c7 you say? o..well its cause both my parents are using it..one is rose gold, and another one in silver..it was suppose to be thier so call 'couple phones'...OMGosh..like no way am i to butt in...but tempting too..cause i love the games in Nokia c7..lol.

maybe i'm just too stressed out, i dreamt tht me and guy A (i dare not say the name) were a thing, he came bk to miri from work, and went to aunt Julie's for dinner with me and my family. had tons of happy moments and he stayed over at my home with my parents at home. err...whatthe heck? the thing is he was so different in my dream, not the skinny twig tht he is, he's a bit better looking with meat, and he cut off the fumachoo look :D for me. haha..(i donno, but in real life, he says he has already done tht for me)

and then yesterday, i dreamt of another dude, guy B (again, i prefer to keep my boy a secret), this time, we went back to the scene where we had the candle light dinner. but then i was sitted next to him, and my evening was spoiled cause he's dovey couple friends decided to join us, and u know what a mood spoiler it is when all u wanted to do is say cheesie lines to your beau but he's friend's just right infront of you with all ears on you and your beau's conversation..how annoying. (but i assure you, in real life, we did end up bumping into he's friends, he's friends wanted to take a pic of us while i kept saying NO, cause i felt very bloated after having the lobster thermidor)

so...lets see whose the 3rd dude in my dreams tonight.

Update~ i really love jason now..even tho he calls me poochop, he's freakingly awesome...CINDY!!, my friend found me this nice shop tht sells macarons.
( http://www.pastille.com.au/ ) go check it out, and tell me what u like :D

when i tell him he's awesome.

he replied: 'I'm just trying to be caring to make sure poo tang does her essay as i dont want her to fail.'

ouch! had a bubu while at placement, my nails was torned in half. yeah, i should have clipped off my long nails instead of waiting for accidents like this to happen. i was having a hard time trying to get things done without wincing in pain.

anyhoos..i get to cannulate someone this week with a 16' g needle size.

all three of these cannot be compare to a 16 g needle..they are all too small as a 16'g needle is 10-12 times bigger in size then these..i'll try to take a pic of a 16' g needle if i can.

SLACKING! assignments due tomorrow, and i'm youtubing, blogging and chating, jason says if i dont get my butt on doing my assignment, he's gonna take the bus, knock on unit 68, and either tickle me crazy, slap my ass or take away all my oreo supplies.

i'm going blind by looking at guy's jewel bags for 6 hours now. stupid assignment needs me to find references to my statement of why i think the given info was wrong, i've been watching videos, looking at pictures, reading on guy's coin purse.

i think its cause i've been staring at the computer screen for so long, i mistaken a horse's penis thinking it was a male's, u cannot imagine my disbelieve, i kept looking at it thinking, DUDE! this guy is so hairy (cause the picture was not clear and in black and white)...LOL.

4 assignments due next week. :/ i cant even sleep soundly, too stressed, eyes twitch, lost my appetite and have been nauseous, got bitten by a bug, and now, a small part of my left leg is swollen ,inflammed, warm and very goddam itchy...i tot it was a mosquito, but bites from a mosqi would not left me with very red and inflammed patch which lasted 5 days. o well, life goes on..

going out with janice in an hour..haha..destress! i'm thinking of going to the crystal,candles and scent shop to get stress releasing junks. i donno if they work, but then i'll just give them a try.

I’m on a consistent down fall. I donno how much more i could take of this. i just wish i was dead. as i don’t think my mind, body and soul could take it if this happens again. How did i my life end up like this? i'm mentally exhausted.