Road trip last thursday. Went down south to Cape Jervis. Beautiful place where the air is so FRESH. Non stop hanging out-supper/dessert time and wine catch ups all weekend got me bloated every night. I'm so touched by everyone's offer to have me stay at their place during the summer..i donno which house to choose from. the city? the unit with the most adorable blue eyed cat? the 1.6 mil house on the hill? or the country cottage?went to terrance's house where we played dance 2, karaoke and fruit ninja on kinect. si beh tiring and hillarious with the company of moscato. sadly, i'm booked this whole weekend, so i cant follow them to Henley to catch some crabs.

YAY! i'm almost there!!! one and half day till i finish my Clinicals.*huge grin.

the only thing is to wait for my OSCE results which is going to kill me cause i donno if i might fail or pass this goddamm topic. Fingers Crossed to the max hoping that i pass this.

yes, i was busy. handed in my last assignment last thursday. and on saturday, colin took me to (something) mountain. the air was fresh. (sorry, no pictures, as it was 9.30pm) we stole this bubble blower at some couple's wedding and starting blowing bubbles at 10pm by the windmill. hang at he's crib and serve me a cup of red bean dessert. talked to cyril about nursing. (ahh finally someone that understands medical terms).haha. went for supper at 2am. i was so blur that when collin asked me something all i can say is 'what? where? i donno.. and wanders off the street'. haha

lunch and money spending with kath on sat. crepe was nice and got myself a LUSH facemask which kinda sucks. pimple popped up the next day after using the crap i got. well at least i smell like nutella the whole night. which got me soooo hungry.

clinical was same old same old. got home early. some upsetting news got my tearing up. then i dyed my hair (was a very sudden move). had dinner with bro's friend. then desserts at cocobean. end up at he's place where i tried hard learning how to play he's guitar. yes, i suck. he taught me. but then i end up yawning. tired and head bk home.

i realise after next friday. i have absolutely nothing to look forward to. yes. sure. i still have 8 days placements and thats it.

i hv no motivation to do my assignments at all as i think to myself, whats the point? i've been told to trive for something, knowing that when i work hard, i know i can get it. but i ask myself the questions of what am i looking forward to? going bk home? i cant, i'm not even going bk home. going to gold coast with my friends, i'm not very hyped about it even tho, i love my friends, but i just dont feel like travelling ard aussie (as i can do that anytime in the next, well i donno.. 10 years perhaps) aussie can wait. but what annoys me is that i cant go bk home. how many given opportunities am i allow to spend my days at miri for months like i could have.

no i dont count going bk for 1-2 weeks as a holiday.

the thing is my parents dont get it. how are they to know how i felt? u have to be me to ever feel what i felt when i'm here. yes, right now, i've got my girls here. but what about next year and so on? i would have to make new friends again as non of them are staying bk. yes, i make friends easily over the past few years. but its not the same without the girls.

thats when the depression kicks in once again. i became someone whose tired of living, i wake up at 1pm and have lost my appetite(which was a bonus, as i needed to lose weight, and i know i know..its not healthy, but hey, when ure depressed, do u think healthy?) actually i did cook, but when i finished cooking, i couldnt eat, so in the end, after 3 spoonfulls of food, i chuck everything into the bin (knowing i would nvr have them anyways, cause i seldom have leftovers, not that i dont like them, but then like i said, i lose interest in eating)

last dec-feb, was the most crucial period of my life, u asked why dint i get a job? well i cant, i had to travel btw ade-perth for christmas and new year. where at perth, i felt worse. it was the worse days i had to live with. i became so depressed that i took only one palm size of meal each day (which of course, like i mentioned before, was a bonus point, but sadly, i couldnt lose that much) i find going on trips troublesome as well, i mob ard the heated house of 30 degrees. well summer at perth was predictable (cause, rmber i spend one month at perth when i was in form 3? from 4?, yeah, i wrote that in this blog as well)

i was so bored that i find flies on the wall, i find vacuming dead flies on carpets, i find filling up brita bottles, arranging my stack of cookies amusing.