Be strong SHEILA!! I’ll have to remind myself to hold on and be strong..i can go thru with the review at 11am today. i can and i will.

I hope i wont break apart. Janice ask to bring a brown paper back in case of hyperventilation.

I dreamt of home. I miss it so much. I really wanna go bk. maybe for a week. But the after consequences i have to face, is terrifying me and is stoping me from making a move. *SIGH..how i wish i could sleep in jt to have tht picture of home and family in my head a little longer. Dreaming on the comfort of being surrounded by loved ones is eating a hole in my heart.

And him. I dreamt of him again. And he’s hurtful words (although it’s not hurtful from he’s point of view, but I did feel a pang of pain when he said it). What i needed was comfort me at this breakable point. Instead, he chose to stay away and yet say those things to me.

Jason says he misses he's 'Little silly Sheila' like who doesnt? My friend says he misses my smile and the twinkle in my eyes when i'm happy. I miss it too. I wake up every morning wishing that what i'm facing is just a bad dream. I look forward to my nightly sleep. thats when my exhausted mind let lose and i dream of things that without waking up would seems so real. i could not taste the fear, disappointment and anger but only happy moments in life.