blah..i hate holidays...today's National day...so?...my king sang to me....haha...negarakuuuuuuuuu..couldnt stop laughing coz he's tone deaf...

last friday,

rushed home from sch to helped prepare for bro's surpprise birthday party by rac chiew...of course mum did most of cooking while i prepare the drinks and all...i was planning to blow balloons,get party hats,and maybe buy some cute stuff for the party but someone reminded me tht my bro's celebrating his 20th birthday not 5th....me driving home

the party was fun and my bro was really happy bout it...the party ended bout 10.30....and they all drove to deserts to meet up with Miss May...while i stayed at home and watch tvhis birthday cake,the exact same one as dr lee's...this is the third time this month tht i've saw the exact same pattern...so thts y i dint eat the cake...

the other day..,roger,me and flora was fooling around at lewis's car....skipping mr tan's ct class...tell me wat u see...its non other than roger,he's camera shy for the very first time..

on the 26th was snowy's birthday...shes a cutie pie when i first saw her...,then now,i really hate her bad...,coz she wont stop acting cute...just wanting me to pat her head..and go like 'aww,ure such a good gal and all tht crap'...sish...thts annoying....(oo...btw..,snowy's my dog)..and i aint got her pic.. :-/

was bored during phy class...hunnie's hunand my classmates

was webcaming with my hunnie last nite

aint she pretty?me and my hun

and while she was busy,i took a pic of myself...

dad got home yesterday and bought strawberries...my fav...yummylicious

woke up quite late...and is still kinda tired.....was webcaming with my king....then chatted with tons of ppl tht i donno...o..heck..those pest wont leave me alone....they wont stop asking bout my personal life...at last,i did wat i had to...just block em all.. >=)

proms in a week....am still deciding whether to go or not...jon called last sat...telling me he might be going on the last min...makes me wanna bang my head against the wall...y last min?.....SIGH....i bet all this doing has got something to do with his bro....well at least he's trying....

ooooouh....i got myself the cutest boy ever...i visit him day and night....played and talked for hours...tho he's younger...,i dont mind hanging out with him...he's just a cute little fellow../ my lovely oscar tang!!!!!!!!!!!!he wanted to cry upon seeing vin....my cousin wanted him to call me mammy...(O.O)....haha....signing out

have u forgottern bout the fact tht i'm human and have feelings too?

everyones asking me to be strong

but how could i when history repeats itself

give me reasons if u cant prove me wrong

u lost ur words to answer me

everyone makes mistakes and are forgiven but not u

by believing ur every words are my biggest mistakes

the friendship we had is such a waste,

when its ending this way,

if ure not going to care,

i might as well find a way to mend this broken heart..

dont tell me ur not part of all these mess,

dont put all the blames on someone else,

crying for someone like u is such a waste..

i can only watch from far,

feeling numb and helpless,

as the pain accumulates,

the cut grows deeper,

those fears r pilling up,

as the warm u gave turns solid cold..

lets get this straight,i'm no one's dear/darling/sugar...or any of tht shiat...

i'm only my hunnie's hunnie...,my king's queen..,my superstar girlfriend's boyfriend,...my babe's babe..wat else?...hmmp...cant think of any rite now,but then u get the pic...

dang...am i not feeling cool today...

feeling kinda tired...coz i dint get enuf sleepi wanna lie down on my bed....with my head on my pillow...

like so... closing my eyes..never wanting to wake up....dreaming of calm sceneriesor maybe me hugging Jesse Mccartney...hah!...

well,lets not get to far....hei!! look wat found...pics of ppl tht i miss so much...mwah friends!!!...(grabbed from my kiki babe)

well theres notthing much going on this week...

except for the fact tht i almost killed myself again.....on a' 'T' junction....wasnt really concentrating well on the road....coz i was bother by life....

my king's leaving tomolo..gonna miss him..and all those lame jokes...

and plus tomolo's my brother's birthday...since he's been ignoring me for the past few weeks,busy gaming,and when i do interupt with asking a tiny winny question,he would shooed me off like a fly.....so tht leads me to a conclusion of tht i would hardly care wat to get him for his bd....

and plus i'm meeting someone face to face tomolo...which is gonna be awkward...after sooooo many years...and rite now,i'm trying to find a way to avoid seeing him..

signing out....

u had a choice..but u ignored it
and now all this mistakes u made is haunting me
wat'd u want from me?
all these time u were taking me for granted
i'm so sick of all i've been thru...
isnt it better if u've told me the truth
then to have me finding it out
its really easy to tell coz u sux in lying..

u’re just too late,the last post which was deleted says so…
cheating and lying was something u could have avoid
and again,my dreams told me u were here…
I don’t mean to hurt anyone
But it’s the truth tht u should have know
Who knew,if u were to listen and to stop wat u’ve been doing,
I wont be here…
hurting

well...i AINT GOT A DATE FOR PROM anymore..hehe...coz jon's away....wat a pity...so...er...i dont think i feel like going anymore...jon's bro was kinda angry at him for being busy all the time and all....so he told me tht he's gonna have a word with jon when he gets back...o..shiat...tht doesnt sounds good.....

saw my lame king tht day,he wanted me to scream his name out loud upon seeing him (while jumping around..like one of his fans)...and pretends to faint when he hold my hands...and then just die on tht spot when he kissed me...er...too dramatic kua.....thts so...stupid lar....now y would i wanna do tht in the public..haha...

o..ya..ever since i put my nick as "i wish i was your someone"...,ppl in msn wont stop asking me who am i talking bout,or maybe trying to comfort me,or was asking me if i'm alright...and theres one tht even ask me if it was HIM..(O.O)..bhahahaha...to think of it,its just a line from this song tht i love...well..er..thanks for ure love and all,but I'm fine now...

was watching tv...and guess wat my pet was doing...

he was watching tv too...eii..cute...

flora drew a pic Mdm sheila on her table during CT class..lewis was helping out tooMdm sheila on this jetson's/terra cotta/pimped outfit...yuckkie ain it?and lewis drew this fatso and says tht its her husband....looks more like lewis himself to me.. LOL..

tuesday..,went to have lunch at sun city....was kinda bored..and so this is wat we did to roger's watermelon...roger's discusting meal...with a mixture of flora's kacangma and chicken bones,my pork liver soup,lewis's chinese tea...plus cillies and soysauce...o..ya...toothpicks too as decos..

yesterday..,the guys was playing with my belt during miss wynne's maths class..roger lewis with my blinggy belt....

today...,woke up at bout 6am by mum's knock on my door...asking me to get up for church,but after answering the door..,i went back to sleep till 630....since mass starts at bout 7am and plus i'm driving another car...i took my very sweet time to get ready...couldnt concentrate during mass coz my bro was making fun at this guy infront of us...was laughing till i could hardly stand...buuuuuu...just missing u loads....actually..i really miss hugging u..and plus..poking u...and most of all flipping my hair against ure face when i have the opportunity to..haha..

reached sch at bout 830...was bored coz it was phy class..and my friends are having their exam....so..i took pics of the phy teacher...

he was holding on to rows of newpapers...hitting those who r talkingnot trying to be mean,but he really looks a lot like Bamm Bamm Rubbles from The Flinstones..

Pebbles and Bam Bam...and in this pic..,he looks like a cave man hunting for food with his club...(giggles)he was rolling the newpapers...A.K.A..the clubhaha...i couldn stop laughing at this pic...
signing out...

is everything gonna be ok?..

things just got worse and i don think i could hold on...

where r u when i needed u the most?...

all my cries is all i had...

if i cant have ure love and attention...

i donno wat i want anymore..

i've been dying inside little by little....

i want the truth from you...

in my dreams,u were there to wipe my tears..
u held me close and hugged me
just like a child,i felt asleep on ure shoulders...

never wanting to wake up to reality...

why do we never know what we've got till it's gone?...

I still feel the sting of my tears even tho i've been crying for hours...

someone please wake me coz i couldn seems to break free from all these pain...

:'(

*myint,i miss u,...i donno y i couldnt stop crying and i'm having sleepness nights..,been crying my eyes out...i feel so empty inside...and plus so numb...i accidentally cut myself tht day...and even tho is was a deep cut with blood and all,..it just doesnt seems to hurt anymore...by getting cuts and bruises doesn seems to hurt as bad as wat my heart is feeling rite now....this depression is driving me nuts...i donno whether i'm still living or dead...everything's so twisted and weird*

i'm sorry if i couldnt stay strong....

why???...Wai???...YYY?????? ....do we always have to argue?.. it saddens me to think tht u aint like the guy tht i used to know...u aint notthing to me...pfft....wat r u so jealous about...well u never show tht u care anyways,ure just saying it but aint doing it...all i need is time...and some space between us friends.....coz all this argument over something stupid is not gonna make me change my mind...dont ask nor do i wanna talk about it...just SHADDAP for once!!

silence is golden

when all these tears are turning me into rust...

went hiking with lewis and roger yesterday....beau scenery taken after hiking

meroger...lewis...on our way home...

hiking aint my thing at all...but then i ate quite a lot of junk food tht morning...,so i would do anything just to detoxify my body...joined the guys for hiking at bout 5...met aunt judy and my cousin's wife...

i felt like throwing up till the end...i feel so faint...my legs couldnt hold me up....once again...thanks to lewis N roger for helping me out...eik!!..if it wasnt for them,..i bet i would just faint and die there on the spot...hah!

melvin followed my car to church today....he kept on fooling around with me till i couldnt stop laughing.....laurence's mum was kinda annoyed...hehe....BUT like always...,i dont care much about those ppl surrounding us...yalar..yalar..sat lar..got new hp..he doesnt wanna take a pic with me..but wanted me to take a pic of his new hp....yeesh!!well,i took a pic anyways..i was looking at him wanting him to look at me so tht i could take a shot...

tht reminds me,i havent been incontact with dave for ages.this toy would always reminds me of him...blue underwears was wat he said the first time i gave him one of this babiessigning out...

"Inner Strength"

Gotta find your inner strength

If you can't then just throw life away

Gotta learn to rely on you

Beauty, strength, and wisdom, too

You're beautiful inside and out

Lead a great life without a doubt

Don't need a man to make things fair

Cuz more than likely he won't be there

Listen girl, gotta know it's true

In the end all you've got is you

well dad bought me a mango watch on sat...aint nothing compare to mum's bvlgari'smines about 3 digits and her's like about 4 digits.... :-D

well anyhoos,been miserable and tired plus kinda sick these pass few days...thts y i dont feel like talking nor do i feel like doing anything at all...except for sleeping..i feel so fugly day by day

told jon tht i feel so low compared to most of my classmates in sch....so ugly and stressed out and aint happy...he then tried to help but then it doesnt really work when i face these kinda problems daily....he ask me wats wrong...,but then i dont have a clue on wats going on....i just feel depress all the time...AM I SICK?OR DYING?...i need help....or i would die soon....coz i dont even seems cherish life anymore...like for example of yesterday's 2-3 secs to death driving problem....

well...Prom tickets are outnice?the pink and purple tickets

wanna go?...on the 8th of sep...,see wat ure missing out hunnie.....even the tickets nice...and shiny...i bet its better than urs....Lol my,arent they hard working...

went out with king today....A.K.A,the leng zai...Not!...after lunch...,we shop around just to pass the timehis dream car...with seat belts again...apuuuuuuuand this is wat i was planing to ride onhaving 2nd tots about riding on this one toou will need one of these if u ran out of petrol...hah...lame....this is king's bed...and mine...

after tht i drove back to sch....and had my bio class...cute eh?...i just love tht fat chicken ass...

now it seems like forever i cant get u out of my mind...