Yes, i admit. It was puppy love. (How childish it sounds) but without Ara questioning me continuously on my so called liking towards Colby, it would take me a while to know/notice. As i answer he's questions, it was he's method of psychology to get ure brains turning and your heart open. Without realising, i answered the last questions automatically. And the answer was a 'No' and realise i like him as a brother more than a friend.
Thank god for that. why haven’t i tot of it, i mean Colby did ask me about it, he doubt my liking towards him. but i was tooo tired, tooo sleepy to answer him. The more i ignore Colby and likewise...i was like 'Meh'. it doesnt kills me to not have him around no more. No next target. altho luke wont stop asking. i hope and wish he would just drop the topic.

I'm avoid Rj btw. taking Ara's advices to not text the guy when he texts...give it a few days to cool down..it sorta just give him an idea of the direction i'm going. which is we are just friends

Of course, outing with the girls and guy. its the best.. Ara joke at the fact that i should go to the fortune teller to ask who is the next freak i am going to bumped into...lol...yes..they all agree where all these ppl come from.


4 more weeks and two of my Sg besties will be flying off. and god knows when i'll able to see them again. *SAD. i will truely miss my girls.

i knew this day would come.

Luke sorta am upset with me. Even more than expected because i did not see the last message on Monday. and now its Wednesday.

Yes. After the last episode of me having a huge boohoo over Colby. Luke thinks its he's que to butt in and save the broken hearted me.

Of course, i backed off. and now he's saying things like 'i did not even give him chances'. well..i cannot blame him. Been mooning over Colby since last year.

o well...went out with Rj again..i should prob just shoot myself...if i have to dine with this man again..i would die...seriously...i have no interest in what so ever he say..i've tried..this is my 3rd attempt. but then i cannot take it no more...i'm not being crude..its seriously boring the heck out of me. i've escaped a few yawns in just half an hour...whats worse..he's being so nice and all makes it hard for me to say no without sounding mean..and plus, he walks me to uni on monday..When i tried so hard to find excuses asking him not to walk me there..Escaping someone rude and crude, that i can do..but escaping someone so nice and kindly mannered..its hard to do.

o'common...when i typed out "this time ard, i don’t mind weird fellows approaching me. c'mon, like why at times like these, i dont get ppl like tht when i need them for distraction. (its always the unexpected times yea?. and no i aint gonna call or text Mr TAXI DRIVER)" on my post on 26th Dec 2011...this isn’t what i was expecting. (><)

On fires end. I guess.



cookie baking session damm fail...last night..was at vince's place to bake some cookies for O-week. but then things did not work out well...cookie turned out burned and rock hard..i super love cyril's face expression upon tasting the cookies. haha..

colby was there as well.. i donno how long could i take it..i just wanna shake him hard...we teased each other. i guess i was being airheaded annoying when on the phone with zhen. cause colby replied in annoyance.

but its all on me to have eyes for a guys like him. the more i'm with he's friends, the more i get to see the real colby. which is not attractive at all..but understandable.

Well just because i cancelled out on my Valentines dinner date on the last minute, I'm now faced with the question of being a lesbian? WTH man.

To clarify; I AM NOT A LESBIAN..If i was one, i won’t have said No to the 2 girls I’ve met along my way in life.
If you, she/he who still questions..Then why did i waste time heartbrokenly dwell on Colby and my previous beau(s) all this while?
Anyhoos. Yes, i cancelled out on my V.date. to make matters worse. i sound like an evil friend when he reply me in the sweetest most understanding text ever. i feel like a goddamm meanie.

the thing is, why i'm cancelled out on him is because all i think all day is Colby. and being out with another friend while thinking about the other doesn’t seems right. plus, if mich did plan out on out hang out session tonight..i might get to spend time with a bunch of singletons. We get to cry over our suckkie love life and watch some sappy romantic movie instead.

Recent report from a friend, Colby's is on OT?!? Heck, can someone pass me the bottle of posion.

O. how i wish its him (lets just call him colby) who have asked me out on Valentines day.


But instead, i said a quick, non-thinkable, easy OK. to Mr Lawyer. yes. the stupidity of me..how could i have said Ok to a dinner date without checking what the date of next tuesday is.

N now, not unless i think of something smart, quick and witty to reply Mr Lawyer..i have no way of escaping this tuesday's Valentines dinner date with him.


O. gawd help me. why cant my love life be as simple as ABC. why make me walk-run and chase for love?


Tomolo, colby invited me to a dinner with he's friends.

Thinking about our 10 min meet up last wed and on Monday night..i donno why i find it hard to face him without looking at my feet. I wish he could tell me its alright when i'm crushed, and hold my hands when i about to fall.


Instead, i learn about him the hard way. Why did he have to think so far ahead?

to first like someone, u should know them better.

hello. yes, I’m back from my 2 weeks break and in btw.

i met up with a few friends bk home. Who gave me an inside scoop on what’s to see about my current chase. and i realise he was diff from what i expected. i should ask guy friends more on guys stuff..They are experts in knowing how to read certain actions of my friends.

after dumping all the crap loads on my current chase. i end up getting all worked up and pissed off knowing what was going thru that boy's mind when he was with me. i wanted to take a plane over and shove him with all my might, give him a huge slap in the face and kick he's jewel bags.

But heart melts a bit when standing next to my current chase. Heart and mind needs to be alert being around him.

Enuf of him. i met two guys on my trip back. cause flight got delayed, i walked ard Sg airport and sat next to decent looking guy. He asked me something about why there was a long line to go into the waiting room. I explained the rhetorical questions of having ppl scanning ure hand carry bags b4 boarding the plane. He then asked if i was local. I said no. and Me with him, found out he was from Melb. An ABC (yes, i tot of melody straight away)..haha..We end up having a fab time talking and end up being the last few to get on the plane.

Cause Melb guy's got an aussie passport, he went thru immigration easier and faster than those holding a foreign passport. but he did say (on text) tht he waited for me at the baggage area. but then give it a few minutes b4 rushing to catch the next flight to Melb.

Thats when i met Adelaide guy. While waiting in line to get my passport scanned by the immigration officer, i saw Rachel. Talked. and Adelaide guy who was sorta in btw me and Rach turned and saw me holding on to a Malaysian passport and asked to confirm i'm from Malaysia. We end up talking and then exchanging numbers as he's got no Fbook. We went out on tues. Chatty guy. Who reads a lot. :) We're meeting up next week.

........

Being back home was a huge stress release. I feel so pampered back at miri. So loved. I really did enjoy my time back home. How i wish i could stay longer...i get to meet the girls. :D i will blog about it on a later longer post.

In the mean time. thats for now.

Happy Chinese New year peps. :) been busy having the time of my life with cousins, family and friends...
got my dorky glasses.

went to get my hair washed, i wanted tht lady to curl my hair inwards with my hair Straight...but was too busy whatsapping luke and found out a little too late and end up having curly hair..as u can see..it went to wavy by night time.

Feel sick to the stomach. I've not been feeling great since yesterday. Viva voce was horrible. I couldnt stop thinking about it. Spoils my mood.

Had dinner with the malaysian gang. All 10 of us went to Ming's steamboat and then 2nd floor to have desserts.

Due to me not having solid foods for days...i cannot even finished a bowl of rice T.T i feel so nauseous. AND pls..NO, i'm NOT pregnant. 3 kisses doesnt lead to pregnancy. Altho zhen keeps saying thts the reasons to it and that i dint tell him the rest of the story..*eyes rolling..like puhlease.

I know i havent been well and needs to go to the doc or something but i've completely lose my appetite (due to stress, anxiety and etc.)..its not like i'm on a diet..NO i am not...its just tht my stomach cannot take it and as i eat, i feel nauseous. and after a meal filled with solid food, i feel unwell.

i dreamt of him again last night. more like a friendly dream..the setting was always at my house. donno why. I missed him..i wish he could be with me today. when i'm feeling scare and insecure, i wish i could turn to him. i wish he would give me a hug, telling me its alright. But every guy is diff. like zhen..when a girl is cold, he says he doesnt give her he's coat. and tht he had nvr offered he's shoulders for a girl to cry on. (no wonder mingming cannot stand him)

:D i get to hear zhen's sleepy voice on skype last night. Ahh..how i miss it...sorta smexy in a way. but then when he gets excited over a topic, he's sleepy smexy voice would change, and theres a rush of excitement in he's voice (it somehow changes its tone or tune).

yeah..cause he wanted to hear some secrets from me..he's always been like this since the day i know him. asking me about the guys and secretly checking their webpage, snickering on the background, telling me how butt fugly they are. T.T

so many canadian chicks friends he has. 3 on the counting. but i'm happy to hear whatever he shares. N...he thinks skinny is the waist size of 24-25. T.T ..i shall nvr go out with him anymore. i just checked and goddammm..i'm an exact waist size 27...o..NO....zhen says he's a waist size of 30. double o. NO....

he thinks we should have lunch. asking me to drive to richmond and he would drive us to lunch. yerrr right...after last night..i dont think i wanna face him no more...just let him picture me as the girl with a waist size of 25 when i first came here.

he thinks we should hang more often so he can listen to my Mimic. with he's 'wo yao ting ne shou de mimi/mimic ar' and when i ask why. he replies "yingwei ni hen dou mimi/mimic..ni mei ken wo ziang'....like as if...i'm dried out of secrets.

okay...maybe theres a new few ones..which from he's voice tone, he thinks its weird. and thinks the beau i like 'hen pian tai'...and he goes like "wtf, ta hen Hiao"...haha..i always cracked up when he says the word "hiao". cause the tone is so funny.

ok..enuf of him. its the last day for me to brainstorm for ideas for my viva. ;.( <-- le' smexy sad mole.

(this is the pic luke likes)..yeah..at least u get to see a b4 pic of me b4 i cut my hair.

wow..i feel loved by my aunt, my fav aunt, lanny and daddy. After their calls..i feel so much better. Dad was so worried tht he suggest to take the 2pm flight over to see me. He says i sound sick. As for lanny and aunty, they are both baking up a plan. (No kiss and tell now). As for my fav aunt..her words are always comforting :)

i cannot believe i broke almost all my nails while doing house chores. Now I’m faced with horrible, chipped up nails which hurts T.T.

I have a surprise waiting for u guys (especially my close friends)with side effects of fear of course..And no I'M NOT PREGNANT!! i cannot believe my dad read on that post (thanks to lanny, zhen, jenkins, myint, melvin) who went with the flow of me being pregnant. No-wonder dad kept saying things like 'if u've got a prob, don’t hide it, tell me' @.@

Be strong SHEILA!! I’ll have to remind myself to hold on and be strong..i can go thru with the review at 11am today. i can and i will.

I hope i wont break apart. Janice ask to bring a brown paper back in case of hyperventilation.

I dreamt of home. I miss it so much. I really wanna go bk. maybe for a week. But the after consequences i have to face, is terrifying me and is stoping me from making a move. *SIGH..how i wish i could sleep in jt to have tht picture of home and family in my head a little longer. Dreaming on the comfort of being surrounded by loved ones is eating a hole in my heart.

And him. I dreamt of him again. And he’s hurtful words (although it’s not hurtful from he’s point of view, but I did feel a pang of pain when he said it). What i needed was comfort me at this breakable point. Instead, he chose to stay away and yet say those things to me.

Jason says he misses he's 'Little silly Sheila' like who doesnt? My friend says he misses my smile and the twinkle in my eyes when i'm happy. I miss it too. I wake up every morning wishing that what i'm facing is just a bad dream. I look forward to my nightly sleep. thats when my exhausted mind let lose and i dream of things that without waking up would seems so real. i could not taste the fear, disappointment and anger but only happy moments in life.

Was very depressed yesterday. i guess its after the lunch party at Jsin's house.

met up with vincent for dinner, had hot chocolate at he's house. talked till 2am. i was completely wired at tht time.

advices was given on my personal, miserable life. but i'm glad i had someone to talked to.

went to morning mass today. Half way thru, i had one of my minor episodes of panic attack. deep breathing and fresh air calm my nerves. but then it happened again after lunch. one leads to another, and thats when i felt the pain..(yes, the one i had in 2010, the one were i promised the girls, ah nut and a few tht i will get it checked but am too lazy to). i havent had tht pain for a month or two. and now its back. *freaking heck! what such nonsence and bad timing.

zhen advice me to get valium for the anxiety attacks..i might get something for the depression as well...and as for the pain..i got my trusty 42 packs of asprin. and one strip of panadol to keep me at edge. (yes,i know. i dont like taking pain killers, but with so much going on, i dont freakingly care)

went to have my bangs cut. sent a b4 and after pic to luke. he thinks i look pretty with long bangs...but then again cute with short bangs. =.= (need luke to sent me the pics..cause i aint got em, deleted once sent..haha)

had korean dinner with denise and yy at seoul rest. it was awesome..forgotten to take pics. fun times catching up till 11.30pm

aparently. denise's most hot topic of the night was about sex. we couldnt stop laughing when i told them about the news article i read years back on this dude that dint know how to do it and has been doing it the wrong way.

denise came up with the idea of having a chart drawn out on the honeymoon. OMFG. i cannot imagine education on the night of the wedding. we all cracked up silly.

and talked about music parody. Go check out Key of Awesome's parody on youtube. i bet u'll be laughing like i did. of course u'll need to watch the original version of it b4 hand.

fun night :)

Happy new year!. So much have happened since yesterday. yes. thank goodness to a nice start of 2012.

had steam boat dinner at my house with a bunch of friends. watched movie, talked, laugh, played cards and sparkles...with Jsin popping a bottle of champagne. and watching fire works which my neighbours put.

the rest of the night was blur but its a great start to year 2012. got tucked in and slept till 6am.

went to mass today, lunch and went to ikea to get my cloths rack (so goddamm happy with my purchase). after tht went bk home, watched movie with my friend. and fell asleep till 9pm. went to he's place to have dinner.


12.30am, 1st jan 2012 joke

Dianne: eh, who wants to finish the last few pieces of agar agar . (cause regina made agar agar for my NYeves dinner)

Johnny: eui, thats from last year.

Most of us: -.-"

-------------------------

Me: eh, u know him right? neh..tht one from blah blah blah.

Lin: o, u mean the one with two eyes, one nose and mouth right? of course i know him.

Me: completely speechless.

First of all i think i must be crazy. i cannot believe he was in my dreams again. This is like 3rd or maybe 4th time in 2 weeks. this time, he was at my house, all sharp wearing this green polo shirt with hair swept to the sides (looking so much like a failed Elvis impersonator) and was waving me to sit by he's sides with one of the 'House' series playing on Tv. i was stunned, asking him what the heck is he doing at my house. *poof* and thts when i woke up by the sound of the rubbish truck.

2nd of all. i realise my cousin is going to Perth this cny. i CANNOT wait to see him. haha. i wasn’t planning to spend CNY at Perth but now i have a reason to. (yup, i plan to actually spend it at Adelaide, as i find no point to celebrate as lanny wont be here anyways. life is dull without my brother)

3rd of all. I’m slowly dying of hunger. haha..it has been almost a month since I’ve shopped for groceries. i SHALL cook a proper meal tonight.

lastly, MERRY XMAS and HAVE AN AWESOME NEW YEAR peps.

Christmas dinner was fun. I realise tht i knew one of colin's friend as i've met her while on placement as she was the intern there. *slaps* head, like why dint i notice it was her when colin introduce us?

damm Jon sin for being such a sneaky cheek. I was he's secret santa. and then he was mine. i told him tht i was he's. but tht cheek wait till the last moment to tell me...i was so blur thinking what the heck is he doing standing next to me when my secret santa was being call. everyone was like "ooooh"...haha..

ok. now what i have to do is stay away from him. like far. stand maybe 10 feet away from him. and try not to think about him. and and. erm. think about food, bed, books, my Mr sexy eyes *pinning both fingers on forehead with a crunching face*. maybe in time i'll forget about him. i need to. cause i might fall into the stage of pure jealousy.

this time ard, i dont mind weird fellows approaching me. c'mon, like why at times like these, i dont get ppl like tht when i need them for distraction. (its always the unexpected times yea?. and no i aint gonna call or text Mr TAXI DRIVER)

last night i got tricked into going to the 11pm mass. who says it starts at 11pm har? i asked the dictator of why i should be there at 11pm..he said to accompany he's sorry ass. haha.

anyhoos, luke was on he's way bk home. taking a two hour flight. we agreed to kiss someone on the cheek under the mistletoe today. too bad, the party i'm going to tonight aint got no mistletoe...haha..i have to find an alternative way. my Mr angry black bird looks so delicious. i might have a taste of he's cheeks later on.

ok, bk to last night. i stayed at jo's place till 5am. i really wanted to die..so freakingly tired. while walking bk to my car, i saw an insect tht bounds to make me scream. i jumped and stomped my feet while looking at tht gross creation. and was fully awake at tht time thanks to tht stupid bug.

saw simon, we acted like best buddies..he gv me a hug. *awww..if he wasnt tht gay, i would have give him a peck as well.

my life is pathetic. i end up being asked out on a date by my taxi driver. He's a 29 yo accountant, couldnt get a job working two jobs at ade.

i end up, being mistaken by someone else and he grabbed my arms and lead me out of the crowds, and with me not knowing that i was being lead away from my friends by someone else (as i was so hooked up on texting)

i end up, having my hair smelled by some dude at Harbour town and he whispered some lines which i was unable to undertsand as i was too hooked up looking at the map.

i end up being taken away to a ball by the malaysian gang and spoiled my friend's night as i was being such a baby, crying away my so called "life".

i almost end up taking up on luke's wait.

i end up driving like mad and having a friend take me home and sleep at my couch.

i end up getting a call from lanny and then cried myself to sleep.

i end up not caring about how much it hurts me and how i scar my body. Because i end up having my heart broken twice in this shitty year of mine.

Been sick. i cannot believe it. broke my own record. 5 cases of food poisoning in just 2 months and a half.

I donno if its the indian dishes that got me rushing to the vomiting bucket in wee hours. but yeah..i almost blacked out. cause i sorta lost my vision for a few secs.

and to add salt to my miserable life, i was struck with sore T again. like hell.

been watching dramas-unsuccessfully. why? yeah. cause some of them sucks bad. i cannot go on watching. like the

Prince and Princess 2 (gosh. i was on the 2nd episode and thats when i had enuf of this movie, this was my 2nd attempt to watch this, i tried watching this drama last few months, and only lasted till the 1st episode)Knock knock loving you (i tried watching this drama like what i did for the first one, and just couldnt go on, the first attempt was last year)

the other day, me, H and Colin went to burnside. the initials is how i address him in real life. haha. yeah.me and H was argueing on if Jimmy ate or eat the world. how H explain was plain hilarious. i really do enjoy he's company, such as funny and lameo guy.

C invited me to this christmas kids and craft. and i was teamed up with H. it was one of the best days in NOV 2011. we had so much fun and laughter. he decorated me like a christmas tree, made me a scrunchy, and a advent calender with very creative ideas. and cause he knows i hate veges, he wrote "eat veges" 5 times on my calender. and i thanked him with a bracelet i made for him.

We were both planning on how to lure the kids to our corner, and H says we would kidnap one child for me, all i have to do is ask. (cause at the begining, i keep ranting on how much i adore kids, and he on the other side hates kids)

the days goes on in a breeze. we met up the at church the next day and thats when all the laughter and fun began all over again.

Road trip last thursday. Went down south to Cape Jervis. Beautiful place where the air is so FRESH. Non stop hanging out-supper/dessert time and wine catch ups all weekend got me bloated every night. I'm so touched by everyone's offer to have me stay at their place during the summer..i donno which house to choose from. the city? the unit with the most adorable blue eyed cat? the 1.6 mil house on the hill? or the country cottage?went to terrance's house where we played dance 2, karaoke and fruit ninja on kinect. si beh tiring and hillarious with the company of moscato. sadly, i'm booked this whole weekend, so i cant follow them to Henley to catch some crabs.

YAY! i'm almost there!!! one and half day till i finish my Clinicals.*huge grin.

the only thing is to wait for my OSCE results which is going to kill me cause i donno if i might fail or pass this goddamm topic. Fingers Crossed to the max hoping that i pass this.